stuff that happened recently has made me think alot..
first the whole R thing..its hard trying to avoid/not think about him when so many friends and family know that i like him. cos they’d randomly start teasing me about him or asking me about him..when really i dont wanna talk about him at all. it was alrdy hard in malaysia..staying at his house, sleeping so close tgt..and stuff that he did that just made me all confused again..and worse thing is how he keeps appearing in my dreams recently!
and then there’s the D thing..made me realise that actually im kinda hot tempered too..or more like petty?? i dont know. but i guess its getting better now..but this is the best i can do during project meetings..i cant get anymore friendlier than this already. i mean, i’ve kinda forgiven her for what she did..but stuff like that just cannot be forgotten so easily. its like everytime i see her/hear her name, what she did just immediately comes to mind..but whatever..gonna try to put that behind me.
so anyway..on Sunday, i was reading the church bulletin, when i saw the article about baptism. and then i dont know why, but i just had this really really strong feeling. i think God was telling me to get baptised. and i think its about time too. as i read the article, it struck me how i’ve only been a Sunday christian for the longest time..and how i keep pushing God away in my everyday life. 2010 was a fun year, with a new school, and new friends..but amidst all that fun, i’ve actually forgotten about God, only remembering to say a simple prayer before meals, and even when i actually did pray, it wasnt sincere, like my mind was also on other stuff at the same time.
I want to give my life to God. I want to live my life as purely as I can.
So from 10/01/2011 onwards, I will:
– stop bitching about other people
– not swear (the f-word, not even in my head)
– do devotion every day
– start thinking about baptism
– talk to ppl about getting baptised (daddy, mummy, val, xx, phy)
– get baptised
– stop thinking about guys and love and relationships. God will provide me with his ideal man for me when the time is ripe.
– not treat k-pop ppl as my idol. i mean its okay to like them, but i will not go overboard and idolize them.