It’s time again. The time where I feel lost and scared and unsure of myself. So many things running through my head everyday that I don’t know what to do..

I have to apply for Uni, but I don’t want, I really don’t want to go to a local uni..I really don’t think I can take the stress level here anymore. I just want to get away from all of this. I want to go to Australia. But it seems like my parents can’t afford to send me there. Why is it so unfair, my sister gets to go overseas and I don’t. And now they’re forcing me to apply for local uni, saying things like: “no harm trying”, “apply first and see how”. BUT I REALLY REALLY REALLY DON’T WANT TO!

Mummy got upset with me at the start of the week cos I refused to tell her anything, and she gave me up till the weekend to decide. This morning she came into my room, I finally told her what I decided. And seems like she still not happy.

They really want me to get a local degree, and be stressed and suffer for how many years? It will be like taking ‘O’ level Add math all over again. This time I will be unhappy 2-3 years…

And them telling me to apply for the local ones “just in case”, what’s the point of applying if I really don’t want to enter that uni even if it’s the only one that accepts me in the end??

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